THANK GOD FOR AGNOSTICS:

A CELEBRATION OF THE LIFE OF ROBERT INGERSOLL

 Rev. Don Beaudreault

March 26, 2000

Performed with the assistance of Chuck Grogan 

"(Robert Green) Ingersoll was famous as a free-thinker and for his attacks on the Bible. His extensive library reflected his views and interests. A reporter once asked him if he would mind telling him how much his library had cost him. Ingersoll looked over the rows of shelves for a moment and then said:

`These books cost me the governorship of Illinois, and maybe the presidency of the United States as well.'" (LITTLE, BROWN BOOK OF ANECDOTES), Clifton Fadiman, editor, p. 300)

You see, Robert Ingersoll, dubbed "The Great Agnostic" was one of a rare breed; not only was he intelligent, but also courageous in saying what he believed to be true about religion or anything else for that matter. And in doing so, he paid a political price.

"In this country," he said, "where the divorce has been granted between church and state, the religious opinions of candidates should be let alone. To make inquiry is a piece of impertinence..."

His response to a possible nomination for Republican Party ticket for the governorship of Illinois included these words:  

"My religious belief is my own. It belongs to me, not to the State of Illinois. I would not smother one sentiment of my heart to be the emperor of the round globe." (Greeley, pp. 71 & 73)

Truly, when he spoke, people listened. All kinds of people -the famous of his day and the common-folk; his impassioned admirers and his harshest of critics. After hearing this great orator speak - indeed one of the greatest orators of all time - people never were tepid in their opinions concerning his message: be it concerning orthodox Christianity and its purveyors, women's rights, the government, an "afterlife," slavery, marriage and divorce, separation of church and state, Unitarians and Universalists. Of the latter category he once said:

"The Unitarian church has done more than any other church -and maybe more than all other churches - to substitute character for creed...I want to thank the Unitarian Church for what it has done. I want to thank the Universalist Church, too. They at least believe in a God who is a gentleman...they believe, at least, in a heavenly father who will leave the latch string out until the last child gets home." (INGERSOLL: IMMORTAL INFIDEL, Roger E. Greeley, editor, p.98)

A very important thing should be said about him: he never personally attacked anyone, although if he disagreed with their ideas, he would mount his oratorical steed and do battle with those very ideas. 

Conversely, I believe most people follow Cicero's advice: "When you have no basis for an argument, abuse the plaintiff."  

Not so with Ingersoll. He had the facts and never went for the jugular of his opponent, just for his opponent's ideas.  

"I want it distinctly understood...that while I am opposed to Catholicism I am not opposed to Catholics - while I am opposed to Presbyterianism I am not opposed to Presbyterians. I do not fight people, I fight ideas, I fight principles, and I never go into personalities...I attack certain principles because I think they are wrong, but I always want it understood that I have nothing against persons - nothing against victims." (Greeley, p.67) 

Now, his position was a very rare thing in Ingersoll's day (he lived from 1833-1899); and it is a very rare thing in our day as well: an individual who is encyclopedic in knowledge and not afraid to use facts rather than mere opinions in stating a case; and the same individual who argues eloquently against concepts rather than personalities.  

In our age of political correctness, anyone who tries to be politically incorrect (which can mean at times to state what you honestly believe and not pussyfoot around an argument) is vilified, often in quite personal ways. Well, the same was true for Ingersoll, but the latter refused to back down. He said what he wanted to say. He answered to a higher authority: reason - what he felt to be true based upon what he had learned through study and experience.

As a leading authority on Ingersoll - our own Unitarian Universalist representative, the Rev. Roger E. Greeley - puts it:  

"At present to question the sincere beliefs of others is considered to be intolerant. Today, the free market of ideas and their vigorous debate stops on the threshold of the church. Religion and theology are truly off-limits, protected by an artificial sanctuary of `tolerance' and what is considered to be `mutual respect.' Ingersoll would have contested this special treatment extended to ‘religious truth.’ His opinion was that until we were emancipated from all superstition and falsehoods, the human race would not, could not, accept full responsibility for its destiny on planet earth. To this end, Ingersoll maintained that no area of human thought was to be free from ruthless and honest inquiry and equally open debate." (Greeley, p. xii)  

Of course, Ingersoll's religious sparring partners dammed him to eternal conflagration, given the man's decidedly agnostic opinions and condemnation of the established orthodox church.

His words were incendiary in his day. Words like: 

"My belief is that the supernatural has had its day. The church must change or abdicate. That is to say, it must keep step with the progress of the world or be trampled under foot. The church must keep up with the people. The multitude care little about controversies in churches; they do care about the practical questions that affect their daily lives." 

"Every minister likes to consider himself as a brave shepherd leading the lambs through green pastures and defending them at night from Infidel wolves. All this he does for a certain share of the wool."

"I am not trying to destroy another world. I am trying to prevent the theologians from destroying this world."

"The clergy know, I know, that they know that they do not know." 

You must understand how well-known Ingersoll was in his day -thousands would flock to hear this lawyer's lectures (even if they knew they would not agree with him, although most seemed to). It has been said that Ingersoll spoke to more people than any other person of his time - including someone else who was also on the lecture circuit: Ingersoll's dear friend, Mark Twain. It is also been said that combining his income from practicing law and lecturing, he made the equivalent of more than a million dollars a year in present day dollars. Quite an extraordinary sum a hundred years ago! Or today (for some of us). 

There is the famous incident concerning his intended talk on "Great Infidels" which was to occur in Wilmington, Delaware in 1881. But this was more than Chief Justice Comegys of the Supreme Court of Delaware and a staunch Presbyterian, could stand. He urged a grand jury under a law of 1740 to indict Ingersoll for Blasphemy. The grand jury refused but made a strong statement against "vagabondism" and warned that if Ingersoll gave his speech he would "be taught that in Delaware blasphemy is a crime, and as such will be punished by fine and imprisonment."

 The press got wind of this brouhaha and soon the entire country was enmeshed in the controversy. One of the most interviewed personalities of his time, Ingersoll was given lots of space to express his views on the subject. He said of the judge:

 "After reading his charge (to the grand jury) it seemed to me as though he had died about the date of the law (1740), had risen from the dead, and gone right on where he left off....I have no doubt that Judge Comegys is a good and sincere Christian. I believe that he, in his charge, gives an exact reflection of the Jewish Jehovah...Every word he said was in exact accord with the spirit of orthodox Christianity. Against this man personally I have nothing to say....I am forced simply to say, Judge Comegys is a Christian." (AMERICAN INFIDEL: Robert G. Ingersoll, Orvin Larson, p.162) 

Well, you Freudians should understand that Robert Ingersoll who lost his mother when he was two, was raised by his Congregationalist minister father, and was steeped in religious knowledge because of such an upbringing. Still, some Ingersollians suggest that Robert did not become a freethinker in retaliation against his father, but became one simply because he was pretty much always one, right from the beginning. 

Possessing a photographic mind, the brilliant youth was reading the classics in their original languages at an early age and came to his own conclusions concerning the meaning of life. Indeed, his father encouraged his children's wide-ranging study, although he still maintained the necessity of their going to church with him.

 Speaking of the Calvinistic routine his father put Robert and his four siblings through each Sunday morning, Ingersoll said: 

"In the olden time they thought some days were too good for a child to enjoy himself. When I was a boy Sunday was considered altogether too holy to be happy in....Nobody said a pleasant word; nobody laughed; nobody smiled; the child that looked the sickest was regarded as the most pious....Then we went to church. The minister was in a pulpit about twenty feet high, with a little sounding board above him, and he commenced at `firstly' and went on and on to about `twenty-thirdly.' Then he made a few remarks by way of application; and then took a general view of the subject, and in about two hours reached the last chapter in Revelation....Then came the catechism with the chief end of man....The minister asked us if we knew that we all deserved to go to hell, and we all answered `Yes.' Then we were asked if we should be willing to go to hell if it was God's will, and every little liar shouted `Yes.' Then the same sermon was preached once more, commencing at the other end and going back. After that, we started for home, sad and solemn - overpowered with the wisdom displayed in the scheme of the atonement. When we got home, if we had been good boys, and the weather was warm, sometimes they would take us out to the graveyard to cheer us up a little. It did cheer me. When I looked at the sunken tombs and the leaning stones, and read the half-effaced inscriptions through the moss of silence and forgetfulness, it was a great comfort. The reflection came to my mind that the observance of the Sabbath could not last forever." (ROBERT INGERSOLL, David D. Anderson,pp. 21 & 22)

 Although born in Dresden, New York, Ingersoll moved with his family to wherever their itinerant Congregationalist minister father was placed - which meant living a year or two here and there: from pastorates in New York to ones in Ohio, Kentucky, Indiana, Michigan and finally Illinois. Consequently, Robert received little formal schooling. And yet, his father's influence concerning the importance of gaining a classical education was strong. The clergyman also influenced his son's social activist principles -particularly regarding the necessity for an Abolitionist position. Although John Ingersoll was a Democrat, by the time his son Robert was politically involved as an adult, Robert became a Republican -given the facts that he greatly admired the Republican, Abraham Lincoln, and was appalled that the Democratic political platform supported the continuance of slavery. 

Said Ingersoll concerning slavery: 

"I do not believe in a slave-holding God!" 

"Slavery was the bond and pledge of peace, of union, and national greatness. The temple of American liberty was finished - the auction block was the corner stone.

 "Think of how long we clung to the institution of human slavery, how long lashes upon the naked back were legal tender for the labor performed. Think of it. The pulpit of this country deliberately and willingly, for a hundred years, turned the cross of Christ into a whipping post." (Greeley, p.93)

By the age of nineteen Ingersoll was teaching school - a profession for which he had no patience. So, he and his beloved brother Ebon became lawyers - Robert becoming a member of the Illinois bar when he was twenty-one. Ebon and he opened up a law office in Peoria, Illinois and Robert would reside there from 1854 to 1876. It was in Peoria that he met and married Eva Parker, "a strong-willed, independent daughter of a publicly confessed atheist. Eva's influence on Robert was enormous. She, more than any other person, was responsible for his unparalleled career as a public orator." (from the playbill, "An Evening with Ingersoll" portrayed by Roger E. Greeley.)        

Certainly, this accomplished woman helped her husband understand the importance of equal rights for women, even though he was fairly advanced in his thinking on the subject before he married her. In fact when he was just twenty-one - and about 7 years before he married Eva - he had spoken at a public meeting chaired by Susan B. Anthony (one of our own Unitarian Universalists) when he said:

 "Be it resolved that all rights currently enjoyed by men in these United States be extended to all women by peaceful means."  

He would go on in life to say other things concerning women. Things like:  

"Science must make woman the owner, the mistress of herself. Science, the only possible saviour of mankind, must put it in the power of woman to decide for herself whether she will or will not become a mother. This is the solution of the whole question. This frees woman. The babes that are born will be welcome. They will be clasped with glad hands to happy breasts. They will fill homes with light and joy." 

"As long as woman regards the Bible as the charter of her rights, she will be the slave of man. The Bible was not written by a woman. Within its lids there is nothing but humiliation and shame. She is regarded as the property of man." 

"Man having been the physical superior of woman always accounts for the fact that most of the high gods have been males. Had woman been the physical superior, the powers supposed to be the rulers of Nature would have been women. Instead of being represented in the apparel of man, they would be luxuriated in trains, low-necked dresses, laces and black hair." 

"Nearly every religion has accounted for all the devilment of this world by the crime of a woman. What a gallant thing that is. And if it be true, I had rather live with the woman I love in a world full of trouble, than to live in heaven with nobody but men."  (Greeley, pp. 107 & 108)  

During the Civil War, Ingersoll served as a Colonel and commanding officer of the 11th Illinois Cavalry. His honorable but undistinguished service (he and his entire outfit were captured) gave him the title "Colonel" which he used throughout the rest of his life.  

Returning home to his new wife, he pursued his legal career -and political one ­- as far as being selected as Attorney General for the state of Illinois. As we have noted already, his outspoken ideas concerning religion prevented him from going further up the political ranks.  

Maybe that was just as well for the rest of us. For although we lost a freethinker in the White House, we gained one as a gadfly for issues of social justice, religious freedom, and literary brilliance. Perhaps the political arena would have somewhat diminished the scintillating wit and rapier word-play. Who is to say?  

However, had he attained high political status perhaps some of the inanities, indeed stupidities of today's political gamesplaying - would not now be in evidence: for instance, the dancing around the issues which our American breed of politician does in order to be elected.

Oh, Ingersoll, where or where has an honest man or woman gone? Oh, where oh where can they be?  

Influenced by the great liberationist thinkers who predated him - luminaries like Shakespeare, Voltaire, Burns, and Pain - Ingersoll was to influence his contemporaries and descendants - powerhouses like Clara Barton, Thomas Edison, Andrew Carnegie, Eugene Debs, Susan B. Anthony, Mark Twain, Luther Burbank, Walt Whitman, Frederick Douglas, James Garfield, H. L Mencken, Robert LaFollete, E. A. Robinson, Margaret Sanger, Elizabeth Cady Stanton, Adlai Stevenson, W. C. Fields.  

Of all the words, that have been spoken in tribute to Ingersoll over the years, ones that I particularly like come from a Unitarian clergyman who said in 1909 some very important things for the world of 2000. Said The Rev. Jabez. T. Sunderland, a free-thinking theist (no less!):

"Perhaps the most important religious service of all that Mr. Ingersoll rendered to his generation was, that he startled it into thinking...Independent thinking is rare everywhere, but it is far more rare in connection with religion than anywhere else...In an age like ours, when brave and honest thinking is so much at a discount, and when such multitudes of men before they speak inquire, `What is politic? What is the popular thing to say?' We may well be grateful for the example of a man...who had the courage to think for himself and who dared to speak what he believed true." (Greeley, p. 167)     

But let us close with the words of the Great Agnostic, himself, who echoes the Rev. Sunderland's thoughts with these words, which, in effect, summarize the thought and teaching of Robert Green Ingersoll: 

"I think that I had better remain as I am. I had better follow the light of my reason, be true to myself, express my honest thoughts, and do the little I can for the destruction of superstition, the little I can for the development of the brain, for the increase of intellectual hospitality and the happiness of my fellow-beings. One world at a time." (Greeley, p. 171)                     

 

UNITARIAN UNIVERSALIST CHURCH OF SARASOTA